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Warning: While reading this blog your imagination might provide graphics that might be unsuitable for anyone.

A friend of mine started a weight loss clinic several years ago in Miami.  We were having a few drinks and lobbing marketing ideas back and forth.  This was prior to my heart disease diagnosis and I had a pretty formidable belly at the time.  We started to joke about our bellies and the inconveniences it provides their owners.  He wanted to bottle up those feelings into an ad for his clinic.  We finally came up with a beauty; “When was the last time you saw your dick in the shower?!” 

I grew up thin, which is the nice word for skinny.  I was a skinny kid that could run miles and miles; running a 3 hour 29 minute marathon at the age of 13.  I took abuse for it.  Fortunately not life altering bullying but enough to remember specific instances.  It stuck on me that I was a skinny boy.  That self-image impressed itself on my brain and I carried it forward with me into my twenties.  It really wasn’t until I started my first desk job that I gained weight.  I liked it.  I recall when I finally broke 200 pounds I felt like a real man.  Beefy.  I was happy to be the right size and not skinny anymore.  In many ways I felt more powerful and more commanding.

Growing up skinny and becoming overweight is a common process.  I think it has a remarkable effect on our own self-image.  Years ago my wife also gained weight in her mid twenties, ironically right after she met me.   Her question; Why didn’t you tell me I was gaining weight?  The answer; I hadn’t noticed.  The problem is you literally grow into your self-image.  Like watching a time-lapse movie of a seed growing into a tree.  We don’t often get to see the timeline frame by frame.

Our eyes are placed on the front of our face and we have no way of ever seeing ourselves as others see us.  You can look in a mirror and get a two-dimensional look, or worse pictures.  I wasn’t until I was trying on some clothes in the mall a few weeks ago that I realized I had a bald spot on the back of my head.  What the hell, I look at my self everyday, how did I miss it?  Apparently, I have been bald for years.  Now I can’t stop rubbing it… no wonder why women hate mirrors in stores.

Sorry, but I have to focus on the “dick in the shower” image again.

At what point; what day, week, month, in which year, did my belly make its move and eclipse my previously unimpeded view of my penis?  How did I not notice?

Most of us will come into this world perfect.  I had a teacher in high school that gave the entire class and A+ the first day.  If it was up to you to bring the grade down.  Health problems, obesity, diabetes, heart disease, tend to sneak up on us.  Tiny changes, minor symptoms that we adapt to very subtly.  Over time we compensate for the changes; bigger belts, sucking in the old belly for pictures… at one point I thought a goatee looked good on my face, thinning.

Ian McLeod took a photo of Cory every day since birth, and then compiled all 7,500 shots into a time-lapse video. He uploaded “21 Years” and it quickly went viral racking up more than 614,000 views in just two weeks.  http://youtu.be/d-4i2ZlqLsI

I wonder if we had the ability to view ourselves in such a fashion; would we have a better shot at combating the unwanted changes occurring to us?  Imagine keeping a daily diary of not only a profile picture but weight, height, blood pressure, and other vitals.  Would that compilation of data be valuable?  Would it enable us to get a more dimensional view of our self?

Perhaps someone, somewhere is working on that particular app at this moment.  I would download it.

Authors Note:  I apologize for the crudeness of this blog.  And for anyone wondering; I can see my dick in the shower again but damn me for missing the day, week, month that the eclipse faded and all my glory reappeared from the darkness.